Love in Uncertain Times

My daughter, Violet, was born a few nights ago in our home on Oregon’s north coast. Supported by the practiced and competent hands of three midwives, as well as our doula, Mack, my wife, Adria, naturally and brilliantly birthed Violet into this world and the two of us into parenthood. I am deeply grateful for our midwives, inspired by my wife’s strength and resilience, and absolutely in love with our baby.

Bearing witness to the birth process was a gift that has only expanded my awe of the innate intelligence of the human body, and confirmed how integral chiropractic care is for pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. I supported my wife’s spine and pelvis as she communicated with her body, with me and our midwives, and birthed our daughter into our world. We have this extraordinary vehicle - one that allows consciousness to emerge, to sense and explore the living world, and to communicate and share love with others. With our bodies and minds, we have been conditioned to look to the future - to plan and to plot - often under the illusion that just a little more “doing” will get us to the place where we can find meaning and certainty. Now more than ever we need to look to the present, to find the space between the stimulus and the response and pause there. The entire world has been asked to take this pregnant - sometimes uncomfortable - pause. It is a fertile opportunity to reflect on our values and habits and make fundamental inquiries: Is it more important to be right, or to connect?

I can say now from first-hand experience that the way to change the diaper of a fiery newborn goddess at 3:00 a.m. is not to shush her, or explain the inconvenience of her developing bowel’s timing to my sleep pattern, or that she needs to learn to modulate the volume and intensity of the wailing (8.5 is excessive, especially this early). It is not to get frustrated at the effective jiu-jitsu she is employing to avoid the diaper grapple. It is not to allow my own notions of how this should be going, or convince myself that she is already scheming ways to test my patience. It is not to prove my experience is right or more real. The truth, as it often is, is so simple and literally right in front of me. “You need to connect with her,” I hear Adria offer sleepily from the bedroom, “she wants you to sing”. And now I do, and it makes all the difference in the world - to her and to me.

In these uncertain times, some things remain true and shine even brighter amidst the tumultuous landscape. I recognize these truths being born from the darkness into my expanding awareness: Love is the light by which we all see. Mothers have superpowers. Choosing connection instead of righteousness makes babies laugh and the world a kinder place to live.